A Life of Beauty or Duty

Contributed by: Mishal Saeed on 5th Dec 2003 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


Yesterday in the lecture hall, I happened to read an interesting quotation written on a desk..

I slept and dreamt that life is beauty
I woke and found that life is duty..

So who agrees? Any comments?


Replied to by Sajjad Ali Parmar on 6th Dec 2003 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


Mishal, I think you both dreamt and found the right things. Life is beauty because we have free will, and life is a duty to me because I should be thankful to Allah every moment of my life, and everything that I do should be align to what is expected of me. I mean this is the best thing about life I think. I have free will and I have a few restrictions and that also for my good. By compromising on a few things not only do I make Allah Happy, but I remain satisfied and happy as well.


Replied to by Raza Ali on 8th Dec 2003 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


Life is both beauty as well as duty. It is a balancing act, like walking the tight rope. Allah doesnt show Himself except in His creation, can you really know Allah anyway except by appreciating the beauty and perfection of His creation? Or can you just appreciate the beauty of the creation without fulfilling the duties imposed by The Creator?

Without appreciation for the beauty, the act of fulfilling the duty will become robotic and uninspiring. Without the balance of duty, appreciation of beauty will lead to over-indulgence. Beauty alone clouds the view and duty alone kills the spirit. According to The Quran we share our spirit with The Creator, if He is just, how can we be otherwise?


Further replied to by Mishal Saeed on 8th Dec 2003 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


I also agree with the statement, life is beauty and duty both at the same time...the actual magic actually lies in the fact that how one manages...

Secondly...when we say that life is beauty...or dream of a beautiful life..its not just like a fascinating one with few restrictions...or with few ups and downs....beauty lies in the eyes of the viewer and every one views life with its own point of view...so this again comes to everyone's own definition of the beauty phenomenon....life led with own will and few hardships...more or less restrictions... ups and downs...might be beauty but same kind of life is not led by everyone...

There is no need to mention I guess that what kind of a beautiful life 99 percent of people say in our own country ....in our own religion, are leading...so dreaming of a beautiful life is not that simple....all that glitters is not gold...the concept of beauty in life which we possess...might not be an exact concept...a comfortable life in all aspects like mentally, physically, religiously, socially and economically, comes under the definition of life lead with beauty these days...but a poor ratio of life led with such kind of a beauty is observed....

This comes to the conclusion that:

The people not having proper opportunities or TAUFEEQ of such kinda strategy of life, are leading their lives without any beauty??? Or the exact beauty of life lies in some other thing...like coming up with a real aim...a real objective...with belief..with faith..no matter how corrupt the system is, the desire for honesty and achievement of that...no matter how much an administration is involved in fraud, good will to repair the losses...the desire for "Jihad" (Holy War) ...self-control...only remembering Allah in losses, hard times and always maintaining relations with Allah's people...A big heart, no matter how small your house is..., or what is your status quo?...like what????

What is actually dreaming a beautiful life??? Life is beauty, this is understood and agreed but what kind of a beauty?

What is actually beauty to us?
13 members..13 concepts of beauty of life..14 crores of people...14 crore concepts...and so on!!!

Likewise is that life is duty....wat are the duties? We all know its a life of duty...but what is duty again? Sleeping, eating, studying, worldly achievements, marriage, kids...securing their future and going back....?

Or is it good for evil...and all written before in beauty context...is that duty???

Raza is right beauty of life and duty of life are interelated...if one is misbalanced other too..and misbalance starts even with the false image of B of beauty....and D of duty!!!

I know..the question asked was not this, but answer given is incomplete without the details of what exactly the beauty and duty of life to us is...? and to what extent are we coming up to that!!!

The Path of the Dhamma - Buddha

Contributed by: Sadaf Shaikh on 2nd Jan 2004 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


I was reading about the life and teachings of Buddha and I thought I'd share some of his most profound sayings meant to guide his followers in their everyday life. "The path of the Dhamma" or Dhammapada in short, consists of 423 verses in Pali uttered by the Buddha on some 305 occasions for the benefit of a wide range of human beings. These sayings were selected and compiled into one book as being worthy of special note on account of their beauty and relevance for moulding the lives of future generations of Buddhists. These are some of the verses concerning the topic "Human Mind".


Cittavagga - The Mind(verses 33-43)
The fickle, unsteady mind, so hard to guard, so hard to control, the wiseman straightens, as the fletcher straightens the arrow.
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Like a fish that is drawn from its watery abode and thrown upon land, even so does this mind flutter. Hence should the realm of the passions beshunned.
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The mind is hard to check. It is swift and wanders at will. To control it is good. A controlled mind is conducive to happiness.
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The mind is very hard to perceive, extremely subtle and wanders at will. Let the wise person guard it; a guarded mind is conducive to happiness.
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Faring far, wandering alone, bodiless, lying in a cave, is the mind. Those who subdue it are freed from the bond of Mara.
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He whose mind is not steadfast, he who knows not true doctrine, he whose confidence wavers - the wisdom of such a one will never be perfect.
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He whose mind is not soaked (by lust), he who is not affected (by haunt), he who has transcended both good and evil - for such a vigilant one there is no fear.
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Realising that this body is (as fragile) as a jar, establishing this mind(as firm) as a (fortified) city, he should attack Mara with the weapon ofwisdom. He should guard his conquest and be without attachment.
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Before long, alas! This body will lie upon the ground, cast aside, devoid of consciousness, even as a useless charred log.
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Whatever (harm) a foe may do to a foe, or a hater to a hater, an ill-directed mind can do one far greater (harm).
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What neither mother, nor father, nor any other relative can do, a well-directed mind does and thereby elevates one.
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The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.

A Man is known by the Company he Keeps

Contributed by: Umar Pirzada on 30th Jan 2004 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


A thought crossed my mind...about how non forgiving the nature of a human is....Rememver the proverb "A man is known by the company he keeps" , "birds of a feather flock/fly together"....

Look at the following scenario which I think everybody would be familiar with....Some guy has a real bad reputation, people know he has been bad/crooked, has hurt people and overall he is someone who's company u can surely do without....who would be easily be a bad influence on anyone....

After a little while that bad guy grows up and realizes his mistakes and regrets on them and wants to be a different person....He gets in touch with a completely opposite natured person to him who is nice and respected in society and very much loved by people. The kind of person who everyone wants to be friends with ....usually such nice people are very forgiving and after listening to a sob story and how the bad guy has transformed....the nice guy would say ok so you have changed and I dont mind giving our friendship a shot. He would want to help him make that transition....but....

What about us, the bystanders, the world? When we see them as the best of friends what would we think....Would we think that the good person has finally given into the demon and has become a bad person cos after all 'thats the company' he has these days....or would we say that the bad person has turned over a new leaf...

A new person who knows the nice guy would think that the bad guy is a good person also. However if someone doesnt know the good guy (and knows the bad guy) he would assume that since he is around the bad guy's company....he must be similiar in nature too.

Can we change that natural attitude we have?....I mean if God can give a second chance to us every time we show the least of regret....Cant we even be a little more caring and try and let go of hard feelings?....I think we can if we try.....and that would definitely make this world a better place to live in with more good people than bad.....

What usually happens is that ths transition period for a bad person fails cos we, the people dont accept him as that different person....which is trying so hard to be...We r so cruel...


Further added by Tanya Ansari on 30th Jan 2004
http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


Thats soo true..i totally agree with Umar....i would like to add something too.....this negative attitude of ours towards a person who wants to "turn over a new leaf" so to say.....can actually make him go back to the way he was, that is being bad...by not giving him a chance to be a better person...we r actually proving him right...he'd be like...I was better off being mean and bad cuz that way i was treating them right...giving them what they deserve......

I mean who gave us the power to judge other people....u know......Islam teaches us tolerance and kindness.....and it also teaches us the fact that if someone does wrong to you, you forgive him and let Allah deal with that person's cruelty....Allah will judge us on our good/bad behavior and who are we to decide what that meanie deserves....Only Allah knows better as to what his punishment is...and like Umar mentioned if tht person later on regrets it....might be possible tht Allah forgives him.....so who r we to keep a grudge against him.....and most importantly......this is what umar and I were discussing the other day that it is very important to forgive ppl....and to ask for forgiveness from somebody who we have wronged.....cuz Allah has given precedence to "Haqooq-ul-Ibad" (The rights of people).....and since I am no angel......if somebody wrongs me I should forgive him/her.....maybe I'd be facing the same situation some day......which is really possible......


Further added by Mishal Saeed on 30th Jan 2004
http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


Well…its a real tragedy…and like mostly such kind of attitude is observed towards the person who wants to turn over…a new leaf...

and Umar is right when he says that we dont give chances…thats the thing, Chances, allowances and justifications… It might be repetition of the concept but that is the actual thing…

And I would just like to add that once realizing the general trend towards the affected person, why to regret n curse over the system again and again? We might not be able to change the system but why become a part of it? We can play our role well…as we play our roles in other aspects of our lives..

We wont be asked for the trend we went along but for our own individual deeds...Whatever one has to give that is the only thing that he can give to others...When one is friendly and kind towards people, its what he/she has…similarly when one treats them cruelly, its again the stuff he/she possesses....

So like definitely we get disheartened ,when we come across cruel attitudes towards ourselves or others, when we see injustice, chances not given but we can light a candle of hope and try to initiate a genuine attitude by giving chances and allowances…

I cant ask anyone to give me a chance or to forgive any other person until I make sure tht I do that myself too…People are cruel but once I decide that I wont be doing the thing that I curse…I can find some comfort! I can be the first step on the ladder...consequently we all...can...


Further added by Amber Ahmad on 30th Jan 2004 http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


Yes, it is a tragedy and we should all give it thought...that are we not the ones who do this also? .... We often follow the trends of avoiding such people as the society tells us to do, if somebody is bad we play a vital role in making him worse, instead the negligence on the part of the so called good people make him go deeper and deeper in the domain of bad...I think what Islam teaches us is the best way to lead lives, we should not only try ourselves to be good but also preach others to stop doing bad and try to be good, and that is only possible if we practice being good and letting a fair hand to all,

It is very easy to criticize someone else...we sit on one bad deed of someone else for so long, and keep rubbing it in to him, and dont move on to find the good things that that person might have. I believe every person has goodness inside him....

LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE

Contributed by: Shamsuddin Rattani on 30th Jan 2004 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end! (After the story, there are some very interesting facts!):

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology.

The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called "Smile." The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway, so, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling".

His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them. The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.

I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you."

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.

"I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, "That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope." We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love. I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in "my project" and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?" I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn: UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

Looking for Life on Other Worlds

Contributed by: Amber Ahmad on 7th Feb 2004 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


I got to read an article regarding "Looking For Life on Other Worlds" and I just had this idea that what would be the effect on our lives if we find out some life on other planets, quoting the writer "Despite the outlandish claims of unidentified flying objects (UFOs), humans have yet to detect even a single microscopic organism of extra-terrestrial origin.

Thus, one of the most sacred questions of human race remains unanswered: Are we alone in theuniverse? "So are we alone ? (As humans) Are we not enough for each other? Yes the scientists have detected surface features on Mars associated with recent flow of water, and the possibility of a liquid water ocean underneath the icy surface of Jupiter`s moon, has given some hopes in the efforts to search for life on other worlds.

But the actual question we have to ask is that what is life? Would life everywhere be based on the same chemistry as life here on Earth? How common are the ingredients that make up life on Earth? Well very hard questions, but I just wondered that what would any of us feel to if for example any alien say from MARS would appear in front of us and try to communicate, what would the language be? What would the reaction be? Screams, or smiles and welcome hands (well if they would have hands) interesting to think na? ......May be they are more educated, civilized and maybe they have more technology? Seems like any english fiction movie na? But do we really believe in this, scientifically yes we can believe that life exists on other planets too but does our religion give any idea or belief in these extra terestrial life forms?

Do we really believe in the thoery of EINSTEIN that "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” Think about it, waisay bhee History testifies to the fact that free thinkers are the key people who help developing a society technologically and scientifically and ofcourse "Free Thought is Key to Progress"

6 thinking hats

Contributed by: Raza Ali on 27th Feb 2004 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


6 thinking hats
by Dr J. Kaya Prpic for the Department of Civil Engineering at Monash University.

"Put on your thinking hats"

To be an effective problem based learner you need to develop your thinking skills. The notion of six thinking hats comes from Edward De Bono (For a more detailed discussion about the six thinking hats, read Six Thinking Hats by Edward De Bono, 1985).

There are six metaphorical hats and each defines a certain type of thinking. You can put on or take off one of these hats to indicate the type of thinking you are using. This putting on and taking off is essential, because it allows you to switch from one type of thinking to another. When done in your group, everybody should wear the same hat at the same time.

The white hat

Think of white paper, which is neutral and carries information.

The white hat covers facts, figures, data and information. Too often facts and figures are embedded in an argument or belief. Wearing your white hat allows to present information in a neutral and objective way.

Questions you might ask while wearing your white hat include:

What information do we have here?
What information is missing?
What information would we like to have?
How are we going to get the information?

When all your group members put on their white hats, they focus directly on the information. For the moment everyone looks to see what information is available, what is needed, and how it might be obtained. Proposals, opinions , beliefs and arguments are put aside.

The red hat

Think of red and fire and warm.

The red hat covers intuition, feelings, hunches and emotions. Usually, feelings and intuition can only be introduced into a discussion if they are supported by logic. Often, the feeling is genuine but the logic is spurious. Wearing the red hat allows you to put forward your feelings and intuitions without the need for justification, explanation or apology.

Putting on my red hat, you express what you feel about the project.

My gut-feeling is that this will not work.
I don't like the way this is being done.
This proposal is terrible.
My intuition tells me that prices will fall soon.

The red hat allows feelings, as such, to come into the discussion without pretending to be anything else. It is always valuable to get feelings out into the open.

The black hat

Think of a stern judge wearing black robes. The black hat is the hat of "caution" and "judgement".

Wearing the black hat allows you to consider your proposals critically and logically. The black hat is used to reflect on why a suggestion does not fit the facts, the available experience, or the system in use.

Wearing your black hat you might consider the following:

Costs. (This proposal would be too expensive.)
Regulations. (I don't think that the regulations would allow ? )
Design. (This design might look nice, but it is not practical.)
Materials. (This material would mean high maintenance.)
Safety issues. (What about handrails?)

Mistakes can be disastrous. So the black hat is very valuable. It is the most used hat and possibly the most useful hat. However, it is very easy to overuse the black hat. Caution, used too early in the problem solving process, can easily kill creative ideas with early negativity.

The yellow hat

Think of sunshine.

The yellow hat is for optimism and the logical positive view of things. Wearing the yellow hat allows you to look for benefits, feasibility and how something can be done.

Questions you might ask while wearing the yellow hat include:

What are the benefits of this option?
Why is this proposal preferable?
What are the positive assets of this design?
How can we make this work?

Yellow hat thinking is a deliberate search for the positive. Benefits are not always immediately obvious and you might have to search for them. Every creative idea deserves some yellow hat attention.

The green hat

Think of vegetation and rich growth.

The green hat is specifically concerned with new ideas and new ways of looking at things. This is the hat for:

Creative thinking
Additional alternatives
Putting forward possibilities and hypotheses
Interesting proposals
New approaches
Provocations and changes

The green hat makes time and space available to focus on creative thinking. Even if no creative ideas are forthcoming, the green hat asks for the creative effort. Often green hat thinking is difficult because it goes against our habits of recognition, judgement and criticism.

Questions you might ask while wearing your green hat include:

Are there any other ideas here?
Are there any additional alternatives?
Could we do this in a different way?
Could there be another explanation?

The blue hat

Think of the sky and an overview.

The blue hat is the overview or process control. It is for organizing and controlling the thinking process so that it becomes more productive. The blue hat is for thinking about thinking. In technical terms, the blue hat is concerned with meta-cognition.

Wearing your blue hat, you might:

Look not at the subject itself but at the 'thinking' about the subject.
Think about the thinking being used during a group meeting
Set the agenda for thinking
Suggest the next step in the thinking, " I suggest we try some green hat thinking to get some new ideas"
Ask for a summary, conclusion, or decision, "Could we have a summary of your views?"

Lessons of Life - Aziz Premji

Contributed by: Shamsuddin Rattani on 31st May 2004 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


Address by Azim Premji, Chairman, Wipro Corporation, in the "Shaping Young Minds Program" (SYMP) organized by the All India Management Association (AIMA) in collaboration with the Bombay Management Association (BMA) on February 9, 2004 at NCPA in Mumbai on "My Lessons in Life"

Lessons of Life:

I am very happy to be here with you. It is always wonderful to be with young people. The funny thing about life is that you realize the value of something only when it begins to leave you. As my hair turned from black, to salt and pepper and finally salt without the pepper, I have begun to realize the importance of youth.

At the same time, I have begun to truly appreciate some of the lessons I have learnt along the way. I hope you will find them useful when you plan your own career and life.

The first thing I have learnt is that we must always begin with our strengths. From the earliest years of our schooling, everyone focuses on what is wrong with us.

There is an imaginary story of a rabbit. The rabbit was enrolled in a rabbit school. Like all rabbits, it could hop very well but could not swim. At the end of the year, the rabbit got high marks in hopping but failed in swimming. The parents were concerned. They said, "Forget about hopping. You are any way good at it. Concentrate on swimming." They sent the rabbit for tuitions in swimming. And guess what happened? The rabbit forgot how to hop! As for swimming, have you ever seen a rabbit swim? While it is important for us to know what we are not good at, we must also cherish what is good in us. That is because it is only our strengths that can give us the energy to correct our weaknesses.

The second lesson I have learnt is that a rupee earned is of far more value than five found.

My friend was sharing me the story of his eight year-old niece. She would always complain about the breakfast. The cook tried everything possible, but the child remained unhappy. Finally, my friend took the child to a supermarket and brought one of those ready-to-cook packets. The child had to cut the packet and pour water in the dish. After that, it took two minutes in the microwave to be ready. The child found the food to be absolutely delicious? The difference was that she has cooked it! In my own life, I have found that nothing gives as much satisfaction as earning our rewards. In fact, what is gifted or inherited follows the old rule of come easy, go easy. I guess we only know the value of what we have if we have struggled to earn it.

The third lesson I have learnt is no one bats a hundred every time.

Life has many challenges. You win some and lose some. You must enjoy winning. But do not let it go to the head. The moment it does, you are already on your way to failure. And if you do encounter failure along the way, treat it as an equally natural phenomenon. Don't beat yourself for it or any one else for that matter! Accept it, look at your own share in the problem, learn from it and move on. The important thing is, when you lose, do not lose the lesson.

The fourth lesson I have learnt is the importance of humility.

Sometimes, when you get so much in life, you really start wondering whether you deserve all of it. This brings me to the value of gratitude. We have so much to be grateful for. Our parents, our teachers and our seniors have done so much for us that we can never repay them. Many people focus on the shortcomings, because obviously no one can be perfect. But it is important to first acknowledge what we have received. Nothing in life is permanent but when a relationship ends, rather than becoming bitter, we must learn to savour the memory of the good things while they lasted.

The fifth lesson I learnt is that we must always strive for excellence.

One way of achieving excellence is by looking at those better than ourselves. Keep learning what they do differently. Emulate it. But excellence cannot be imposed from the outside. We must also feel the need from within. It must become an obsession. It must involve not only our mind but also our heart and soul. Excellence is not an act but a habit. I remember the inspiring lines of a poem, which says that your reach must always exceed your grasp. That is heaven on earth. Ultimately, your only competition is yourself.

The sixth lesson I have learnt is never give up in the face of adversity.

It comes on you suddenly without warning. One can either succumb to self-pity, wring your hands in despair or decide to deal with the situation with courage and dignity. Always keep in mind that it is only the test of fire that makes fine steel. A friend of mine shared this incident with me. His eight-year old daughter was struggling away at a jigsaw puzzle. She kept at it for hours but could not succeed. Finally, it went beyond her bedtime. My friend told her, "Look, why don't you just give up? I don't think you will complete it tonight. Look at it another day." The daughter looked with a strange look in her eyes, "But, dad, why should I give up? All the pieces are there! I have just got to put them together!" If we persevere long enough, we can put any problem into its perspective.

The seventh lesson I have learnt is that while you must be open to change, do not compromise on your values.

Mahatma Gandhiji often said that you must open the windows of your mind, but you must not be swept off your feet by the breeze. You must define what your core values are and what you stand for. And these values are not so difficult to define. Values like honesty, integrity, consideration and humility have survived for generations. Values are not in the words used to describe them as much as in the simple acts. At the end of the day, it is values that define a person more than the achievements. Because it is the means of achievement that decide how long the achievements will sustain. Do not be tempted by short cuts. The short cut can make you lose your way and end up becoming the longest way to the destination.

And the final lesson I learnt is that we must have faith in our own ideas even if everyone tells us that we are wrong. There was once a newspaper vendor who had a rude customer. Every morning, the Customer would walk by, refuse to return the greeting, grab the paper off the shelf and throw the money at the vendor. The vendor would pick up the money, smile politely and say, "Thank you, Sir." One day, the vendor's assistant asked him, "Why are you always so polite with him when he is so rude to you? Why don't you throw the newspaper at him when he comes back tomorrow?" The vendor smiled and replied, "He can't help being rude and I can't help being polite. Why should I let his rude behavior dictate my politeness?

In my youth, I thought of myself as a rebel and was many times, a rebel without a cause. Today, I realize that my rebellion was another kind of conformity. We defied our elders to fall in line with our peers! Ultimately, we must learn to respond instead of reacting. When we respond, we evaluate with a calm mind and do whatever is most appropriate. We are in control of our actions. When we react, we are still doing what the other person wants us to do. I wish you all the best in your life and career. I hope you achieve success in whatever way you define it and what gives you the maximum happiness in life. Remember, those who win are those who believe they can.

Azim Premji
March 22, 2004

The First Lady in My Life

Contributed by: Mahjabeen Umar on 21st May 2004 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love. A little while ago I had started to go out with another woman. It was really my wife's idea.

"I know that you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise. "But I love YOU," I protested.

"I know, but you also love her."

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to pass some time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us." She thought about it for a moment then said "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting". We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu to her. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entree, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me.

A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said." Then it's time for you to relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation, nothing extraordinary - but catching up on recent events of each others lives. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you". I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't be there but, nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant to me. I love you."

At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time: "I LOVE YOU" and giving our loved ones the time that they deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than God and your family and friends.

Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off 'til "some other time".

Someone once said "I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I think this is true with your in-laws, grandchildren, sisters, brothers and your friends. Anyone that means something to you-you should spend time with them and let them know how much they mean to you as often as you can.

A beautiful sentiment...

Contributed by: Amber Ahmad on 10th June 2004 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am,when an elderly gentleman, in his 80's, presented to have sutures (stitches) removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease. As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound,I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left. I had goose bumps on my arm and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

Quote for the DAY

"You have not lived; until you have done something for someone, who can never repay you."

Are we happier than our fore fathers?

Contributed by: Amber Ahmad on 31st July 2004 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


Well the question that made me write, just came while some of our old family members like my mom's uncles n aunts were discussing that "humaray zamany main yeah hota tha, woh hota tha, beemaree nahee thee, hum sabh chotee chotee baat par khush hojatay thay etc etc..."

While they were talking about it, I was thinking, are we happier today? Say it the other way, are we happier than our fore fathers? Today we have lots of luxuries n easiness in life, fridge khola thanda pani hay, TV for entertainment, music, gas n electricity most of the time, we follow the trends in fashion as much as we can, spend a lot of amount of money on junk food, have a car to drive to any place we like, but still after all that are we happier.

What I feel no we are not, today we have lots of other issues to settle, other life problems which make us uneasy at the time we sleep, we dont have peaceful sleeps any more these luxuries are helpful no doubt but they are also tking away the small happiness from us, today we have the best doctors to serve us but at the same rate the number of illness n diseases is increasing, so the ratio remains the same.

Any ways think abt it "ARE WE HAPPIER THAN OUR FOREFATHERS?

Food for Thought

Contributed by: Sadia Munir on 13th June 2006 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview


I came across an interesting passage while reading Resurrection by LeoTolstoy and thought of sharing it with all of you.

"There is hardly a superstition more common or more generally accepted than that which attributes definite traits of character to every individual, which affirms that a man is kind, wicked, wise, foolish, energetic, and so on. This is all wrong. We may say of a man that he is more frequently kind than cruel, oftener wise than foolish, or more energetic than apathetic, and vice versa. But it could never be true to say of one man that he is kind and wise, and of another that he is wicked and foolish. Yet this is our method of classifying mankind, and a very false method it is. Men are like rivers. The water is alike in all of them; but each river is narrow in some places and wide in others; now swift and now sluggish, sometimes clear and sometimes turbid; cold in winter and warm in summer. The same may be said of men. Each man bears within himself the germs of every human quality, displaying each in turn. We often say of a man he's not like himself, and yet we know him to be the same individual."

Official Launch of The POV Blog

Well finally we have managed to touch the blog world as well. This is an introductory blog.

The Point Of View or POV is a group of young thinkers and was built in 2002. This group consisted of people who think and like to express about various things in life. Along with being good observers we also learnt the art of listening during our 'email' conversations.

There were discussions, meetups held very often at different places. A constructive activity which should be little part of everyone's life if not more. Then as we grew up, priorities changed, time consumed on top priorities and POV led a quieter track. Jobs, higher studies took away the little few minutes we spent discussing on topics with different people on the group.

Frankly, we havent really been that active for quite some while and this just might be a slow start as well. I am trying to get all the group members to find some time and participate on the blog so that others could also know what we are talking about. Maybe this blog may become popular with newer additions as well but I am very choosy with who becomes a POVian and frankly it does have a bit of a bias as well.

At this moment in time, I have just logged our presense for now. I may start copying some of our previous discussions to get this blog started a bit. Lets see how this develops.