Contributed by: Umar Pirzada on 31st Aug 2003 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofviewThe only way to get stronger than anyone is being stronger than yourself....If one has the strength to beat himself....one is more powerful and stronger than anyone else....in this world....
But how do we accomplish such a feat? The answer..."Face your Fears"....its not easy as those 3 words.....but that is it...The toughest job is identifying and in fact accepting that this is a fear than actually facing it and then eventually beating it....if one can recognize the fear then he has to....treat it like one and respect it....cos anything which can harm you needs attention and respect.....
What is that we fear most? God? Death? hmmm....lets talk about worldly things....
NUCLEAR WAR ?....hmmm lets leave it there...lets talk abt inner stuff ....
Your dad? Your family? Why would anyone fear that....? Hey no direct hits....just pointers....hints...
What is the HUMAN's WORST FEAR? I ll only give my own point of view maybe other people have different ones....
I think FAILURE is the worst fear anyone has....the fear of failure....is what kills me....makes me tremble...gives me sleepless nights....discourages me....makes me HATE everyone.....when I try to face it I cant....I hide...behind walls...behind other people...behind myself.....I cant face it.....it eats you from inside...the fear ofFAILURE.....
How do we overcome this....? The solution is FLYING heheh....yeah....FLYING off from this world...in thoughts.....in emotions...just take yourself away from this world....remove materialism....from yourself...away from this worldly goals....thats the solution....in fact thats the solution of most fears.....But thats a cowardly way? Right?
How about? Taking it on, believing in yourself...and still if it doesnt work just know you gave it your best shot and FAILURE is what is better...After all Allah only means everything for the better....its fate...lets live with it...
There are ways to overcome your worst fears and each one might have different ones according to their nature....but one needs to find the solution...and needs to think about them....cos no one this world can claim that he has no FEAR...
Further added to by Mishal Saeed on 1st Sept 2003 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofviewAgreed to the statement that the only way to get stronger than anyone is being stronger than yourself....or to resist your own feelings....desires?
Whats that you fear most??? Failure? Meaning losing? Everyone has their point of view ...and for me failure in the "most dear" stuff....My dad used to say something... things dont always go like you want it...failure is a bitter feeling....but it becomes a fear only when one makes it....it is part of the game...and if we consider that then its quite logical...
If we dont lose then nobody would win? If somebody doesnt lose how will we ever win? Failure is also Allah's wish, when its in your fate then why fear? We know everything happens by Allah's will....
Failures have a lot of benefits....they make you learn how to live how to face the musicand again I can say so much more....and everyone's point of view is acceptable:)
Every one takes like and defines it by its own expereinces....so to me the worst fear? Well there are lots...loneliness...(when there is no one who can listen to u, who can mourn with u..who can laugh with u...who can justify u...who can explain for u...no shoulder...no background.....all alone)
Silence...(when there is no voice u can hear...no cheers...bus the quiet...so much similar to losing your soul...) Misunderstandings...(which leads to a bad reputation...when relatives dont matter....when a small thing can ruin every thing in life...all losing of tryst...no effort to justify u....listen to you...no chance granted !)
Life has its deprived moments and failures.... some sadness....and all of these cannot be placed in one category....deprivation is a blessing...You have not experienced something so no sadness related to that can come to you...Failure is another blessing...it helps you keep on trying...Sadness is a major thing...and it can be placed in the list of fear....can be...not surely..:)
Anything could be a fear...but again it shouldnt be...Umar is right when he says face your fear....:)
Further added to by Mahjabeen Umar on 1st Sept 2003 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofviewMy worst fear... hmmm...
Worst fear to me is the loss of loved ones... be it death, a misunderstanding or mere rifts I fear it all...Umar suggests one should face fears...thats the solution.... but I look into my grandmother's eyes, I study her wrinkled face and am just tempted to hug her hard... She's leaving for my aunt's house in another country and it would be months and months before she comes back... and im scared... what if, God forbidding, I dont get to see her again... she is old, fragile and sick, is even forgetting things now... what if...
And the thought makes me hug her all the more tighter... and she goes on and on with all her prayers... now how would one face this fear???
I get scared of anger... I get scared of misunderstandings, I hate it when people fight.. all of these I feel create differences and spoils relationships... You end up losing your loved ones this way...now how would one face this one...???
Further added to by Mishal Saeed on 1st Sept 2003 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofviewWell anger, misunderstandings and like set your mind that things could be more wrong then this...if we are talking about 'Fear', then can it be so logical that one sets its mind and starts thinking that this didnt happen, and that could happen also?
Fear is a feeling to me...one feels like 'thinking' when scared? Its involuntary...it comes with instinct....anger, silence...misunderstandings, death and all these are all symbols...fears, ultimate objective is the same.......even if nothing like that happens....the fear remains...like when any thing wrong happens...it brings its solution always with it, but at that particular time...when everything is going wrong....fear arrests...its only natural...fear is not dependent on logic...
But when it comes to how to face fear....the question itself becomes logical...when a person becomes capable enough thats when he starts asking how to face this fear...that in itself is a proof that one is somewhat out of it....and thats when the thinking procedure starts...
Once you make up your mind to face fear...there are a thousand ways.....preparing to face fear is actually facing fear...thats the main thing...and thats when things start rolling...prayers...that things remain fine...we can only have hope....that things will get fine...
A new belief, a new desire which helps making things better...reach out to Allah to overcome the fear....to face fear....to me..."fear" is one phenomenon...and "to face fear" is another phenomenon...when some one is in "fear", it should be justified...without logic...and when one faces fear...then there are heaps of logical explanations that could come up...
Further added to by Sadaf Shaikh on 1st Sept 2003 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview An interesting topic we have here on our hands. Before I go on to what I feel is my worst fear
I'd like to point out some incongruity in what UTP wrote about Failure beng his biggest and worst fear and his idea of overcoming it (i quote):
"the only solution is FLYING heheh....yeah....FLYING off from this
world...in thoughts.....in emotions...jusut take urself away from
this world....remove materialism....from urself...away from this
worldly goals....thats the solution....in fact thats the solution of most fears..... "
Objection: How and infact why should we "take ourselves away " from this world ?
When GOD created MAN and sent him down to inhabit this earth, Man was told that he could partake of all the bounties and blessings that he could find in the earth and the sky EXCEPT for those things only that have been explicitly forbidden by GOD's decree. Similarly, homosapeins were intended to be live at a much higher level of existence than all other beings on Earth (Ashraf-ul-Makhluqaat remember?), so naturally they were made in such a way that we have material needs and in order to fulfill those needs we have to create or obtain material goods.
So how can a man separate himself from worldly goals when he is lives in this very world??
The fact that those goals should be just and noble , no doubt but not not have any worldly goals whatsoever while we're living in this world is impossible when we take into account human nature. And who is to blame? If any one must be blamed at all? Not man surely since we're merely instruments of GOD's will and can't think or do anything without his consent.
Finally,even if by dint of some miracle we manage to separate ourselves from all our worldly goals an desires, even then we'll still have FEAR. Fear of the "Life hereafter" and Fear of what judgement will be passed upon our conduct while we were in this world. So even the most religious and Godly amongst us should not feel so SMUG about being guaranteed an entry to heaven , because we don't know what will eventually happen to us.
So there we are, "Fear of the Unknown". That is one fear that remains when we have mastered all fears.
Further added to by Umar Pirzada on 1st Sept 2003 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofview Righteousness....
Free your mind from worldly goals...I didn't say its easy....but that's the solution of being strong in this world....yes we set goals.....but lets not get into chasing them so crazily...that....we get lost and that's when these worldly fears actually affect us.....
People come and people go....we have come....we would go also...if we start fearing that people would leave us....and if we mourn on the people who do....yes it is sad but...it doesn't stop us....it shouldn't.....people move on also.....whether leaving is due to death or any other reason....yes we are dependent on one another but we aren't dependent to a level that we can't function without the other.....
Its just about setting a mind tone of not expecting people to be around forever....that makes you be happy when they do remain around forever.....that is a bonus in a way....
Scared of ghussa....scared of misunderstandings....THATS PART OF LIFE.....set your mind....to be free from such fears....and start thinking WORST CASE.....like it cant be worse than this right....and you go on...theres always something to look on to....its only if we close our minds that there isn't anything to look forward to...
Further added to by Raza Ali on 5th Sept 2003 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofviewAfter the discussion about dreams the 'worst fear' topic should mean 'nightmare'. Generally we are afraid of things that affect our lives but what about those of which we can not control. May be we are not supposed to control everything and if we are not supposed to control everything, why should we supposed to be afraid of those things?
Fear is natural. I fear that time is limited and I might lose this time before I do what have to do. Can I change that? I don't know. Can you avoid failure? Failure is a very real fear and in almost all of us. People are not objective in their judgments, or may be they are too judgmental. If somebody fails in something people might label them as losers and sometimes even forgetting what they have done right. Those who loose often under the influence of this discouraging environment, loose confidence in what they are good at and become what people perceive of them or may be stereotype them. We loose and we fail all the time, but we become failures when our sense of confidence and our strengths come from outside and not from inside ourselves. Is your perception of yourself dependent on the opinion of others? Failure is nothing in itself. It is the expectation and the disappointments that follow which break the heart. Is disappointment or despair allowed? Can anybody keep on trying if they are disappointed because they could not measure up to their own or somebody else's expectation? And if somebody is not going to try again can they ever hope to succeed?
Even the fear of Allah is no fear. He never said that we should be afraid of Him that he is terrible and He holds the power to throw us into hell. If we are only to be thrown in hell, why create us in the first place? Allah asks people to remember that He is watching and He is listening and He knows what is in our heart. What we do in front of people or what we do in the darkness of night. We have to take responsibility for what we do. 'Flying off' sounds like 'run away' but I know you don't mean that. May be we can 'rise above' and see that our life is not dependent on and driven by what is material even if it seems 'necessary'.
Further added to by Sadaf Shaikh on 8th Sept 2003 at http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thepointofviewRaza has discussed 3 kinds of fears,
1. Fear of limited time or not having enough time to do all we have planned to do
2. Fear of Allah
3. Fear of failure
but what exactly is fear ?
I believe that fear is an emotion which is experienced by us in anticipation of some specific pain or danger and what are our usual response to fear ?
There can be only two logical responses 1) take control of your fears 2) Let your fears take control of you.
As Raza said that generally we are afraid of things that affect us but are beyond our control.
That is just one kind of fear; fear of the uncontrollable factors. Another kind of fear a lot of people face is fear of the unknown or inexplicable. What man doesn't know or doesn't understand he fears.Then there is also fear of retribution, such as that many religious figures have tried to invoke in the ordinary people concerning the wrath of GOD and the throwing in hell of all that displeased HIM. Another fear is that of losing something we cherish; it need not be a material or even tangible thing. Fear or displeasure and even fear of being afraid.
Yes, I have come across people who used to suffer from stage fright and knew that they would get cold feet when asked to make a speech or recite a poem. so what they did was started being afraid of their fear of performing in front of an audience.
So there you have a very unique kind of fear, "Fear of Fear".
I would however agree with Raza that the people who free themselves from outside influences as far as forming an opinion about themselves is concerned are more likely to be able to overcome their fears whether actual or imagined.
